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Relating to the previously posted quote.

This is the first book review to hit this blog. I’m not sure that it will be a reoccurring theme, but it’s possible.

I’m a regular user of the site stackoverflow.com, and one of my favorite questions on the site is What non-programming books should programmer’s read?. In this thread, one of the books caught my eye: How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.

Why did this book catch my eye? Frequently I’ve found myself being torn between two opposing factions of thought. One the one side I acknowledge that I’m an isolated creature (to a comfortable extent), and I really don’t mind the isolation. Isolation can be valuable, it lets you explore things in a deeper way that you might otherwise be able to with distractions. Isolation can also help you understand things on a deeper level, such as programming. The other side is a nagging acknowledgment that it’s pretty much impossible to advance in a given career without collaboration or building social ties within a company. So, in that vein, I picked up an audio edition of the book, and have been listening to it over the past week while I play World of Warcraft.

This book will not teach you revolutionary concepts. You’ll spend most of the time remarking at how obvious these ideas are, until you come to the realization that, “I don’t actually implement these obvious truths”. The bulk of the material is an expansion of each of the core principles by way of examples. Some of the examples might seem dated, and they are, but the book was written in the early half of the last century, so it’s understandable. Even with the examples being dated, the ideas from them are still true today, and the subject matter or settings are largely just for illustration.

A lot of what I’ve said here seems ambiguous as to the purpose of the book, but the title sums it up pretty well. It’ll teach you how to get people to your way of thinking, or how to manipulate (this word has such negative connotations…) peoples way of thinking with simple leverage. For simplicity sake, and to give you a taste of why you should read the book, here are the core principles in list form:

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a man’s Name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in the terms of the other man’s interest.
6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1. Avoid arguments.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never tell someone they are wrong.
3. If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Start with questions the other person will answer yes to.
6. Let the other person do the talking.
7. Let the other person feel the idea is his/hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Sympathize with the other person.
10. Appeal to noble motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to other people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes first.
4. Ask questions instead of directly giving orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise every improvement.
7. Give them a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Encourage them by making their faults seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.